My wife and I were talking about a famous vocalist and about he she sings about who she is, her life, her experiences.
She clearly loves what she does. And her audience easily connects with her. Her personal life and her work life seems congruent. What a blast!
In contrast, when I started my job search I felt like my life was totally incongruent. I got to the point where I was miserable but I had to put on a smiley face and try and network.
I had to pretend I really enjoyed things, like going to events, giving my 30 second pitch in front of strangers, etc. I had to pretend things were GREAT when they were really far from great.
At least, I thought I had to do that.
I didn’t understand the idea of being authentic. I am sure I did not connect with “my audience.” I’m sure they saw the misalignment.
If your job search hurts, maybe it is because you are trying to force things that shouldn’t be forced. I’m not saying this so you can have an excuse to not network with people, but maybe you shift from going to network events and start doing one-on-one meetings (lunches, etc.).
In other words, maybe the strategy is good but the tactics are bad (for you).
I give you permission to change your tactics. Have a good, strong, purposeful strategy, and have tactics aligned with who you are.
And see if some of the hurt doesn’t go away.
You might be like my friend John who said “I’m having too much fun doing this networking stuff!”
And he really was.