Wow, I’m impressed! I wasn’t expecting this so quickly.
I agree with all the suggestions/changes you made. It does present a more polished and porfessional image the way you’ve presented it.
I made just a few changes in terminology to fit with industry standards. We refer to it as the “Quick Service” (QSR) not “fast service” and when referring to individual sales the industry refers to it as “check averages”. I think I only found one or two minor things which I have highlighted.
I can’t wait to start sending this out and seeing what results I get.