First I would like to thank you for your remarkable effort. I am impressed with the draft you sent me and can clearly see the difference ! Thanks again.
As for my comments and answers to the questions you had, it all included in the attachment ‘in red’. I would appreciate it if we could discuss the changes before you incorporate them, so please give me a call to discuss. You can reach me at (444) 444 4444.
N.B I have also attached a reference letter from my ex boss at Citibank as I thought it may be useful. As for the appraisal, after going through them I feel they are too technical to be used.